The root-cause of anxiety is that you forget to breathe. When we start our journey of truth and understanding, we come to learn everyone just wants to impress everyone else, everyone just wants to be seen, to be heard, to be valued. Fear is filled with anxiety, distance, competition, and stress. Love is accepting, nurturing and constant, even if you think you have a lack of it. Love is a natural state for humans and the universe. I am here to remind you of how beautiful and perfect you are.
This is how the game gets played, your mind is creating your reality. So, if your mind is creating your reality, and you don’t like your reality you have to change your mind. But the mind won’t change if there is another part of the mind that is stronger than the part trying to create change.
The part of you that is saying “I want to be a better person, to be calm to be relaxed” is your conscious mind. If you are setting these goals, but they are not manifesting, this means there is something in your subconscious mind that is stronger and won’t let your conscious mind create the reality it wants. So where do these subconscious thoughts get created?
Depending on how lucky were, you might have been born to parents who loved you, but some are born to parents who don’t love them. You might have been born to parents who were good parents, with lots of money, food, love – that’s great. You might have been born to parents who drank themselves into oblivion or were not fully present, and all those experiences are now part of your anxiety.
What made you choose to be anxious? What makes you ready to let go of anxiety now? What is changing? Every event that happens to you between the ages 0-5 is a program, like an app on a computer. If you had a childhood with lots of love, time and attention you are not likely sitting here. There is never dis-ease where love is present. Along your journey, your experiences created thoughts and ideas based on the environment and the people you interacted with. To measure the impact of those experiences, close your eyes, take 3 deep breaths and ask yourself this, on a scale of 1-10, 1 being none and 10 being completely: How much do you love yourself?
Taking the first number that popped into your mind, if your number is between 1-4 professional help is advised. If your number is between 5-7, welcome to the game of life. If your number is between 7-9, well done! Using the same scale, keeping in mind we are not here to criticize, we are here to help release anxiety – close your eyes, with 3 deep breaths and on a scale of 1-10, 1 being not there for you at all, 10 being always there for you – How much was your mother there for you? How much did she love you? Same question for your other parent – How much was your father there for you? How much did he love you?
Based on the number you just gave your mom or dad, the one with the lower number is who you have the biggest issue with. It takes courage to be honest with this question, this isn’t about hurting your parents it’s about healing your anxiety.
Our parents and the environment we are reared in and the nourishment we take into our bodies play a huge part in anxiety.
It’s not just about food, it’s all the nourishment you put into your body. If you are watching TV dramas your emotions are being hijacked, they are a distraction to avoid looking at your own stuff and you are putting poison into your system.
Between the age 13-17 I stammered badly. What switched? The stammer was caused by anger at my mother not being there for me, she was an alcoholic. As a child, when I said something of value, I was hit, children should be seen and not heart. So, I shut up for years.
Anxiety is crying out to be seen. It is a declaration that you have value. Somewhere on your journey perhaps you were told you were stupid, not worthwhile, had nothing to offer. This part of you is opposing the desire to be seen, to be heard and to be loved. We need to love ourselves back into calm.
When you work at connecting the dots between subconscious memories and your fears, you open the door to the great potential of life. Once you have some understanding of a fear or the root-cause of anxiety, you’ll be able to act on that knowledge and begin to move forward. You cannot let go of something until you know exactly what it is, where it came from, how it affected you in the past, and how it manifests itself in your present life. Information, teachings, and help from professionals can lay the groundwork for the self-discovery that will break the grip of fear.
By Derek O’Neill