You won’t find what you are looking for on the outside…EVER!


Many years ago, I held meditation groups four evenings a week. The demand was so great it was necessary to open a waiting list.

Along came baby number two, followed by our third beauty and life became incredibly busy. Once ‘In the Night Garden’ aired at 7pm I had to surrender to exhaustion. The time had come to step back from the meditation groups and restructure my day.

I will always have fond memories of those groups.

One thing that struck me was the sense of expectancy among new participants on the first evening.

With some, I could see the excitement beam from their faces. Others were nervous, sitting as quiet as could be, legs crossed, arms folded with apprehension for what was to come.  Most heard about my groups from friends and family.

All new participants had something in common: They were all seeking something.

They had witnessed how much their friends and family had changed during the previous meditation programmes. They noticed they were happier, more content and relaxed. Anxiety levels dropped dramatically, and their lives began to ‘work’.

Back then I was known as The Angel Lady. People knew I was psychic and could talk to the Angels and Spirit. If messages came in I passed them on. I knew that was a proverbial carrot that brought people in, holding the hope in their hearts that maybe they will get a message too.

But I also knew that the reason participants’ lives were changing was not because of my messages. It was not only because of meditation either.

By week four I could see it. That look in their eyes. I sat in the semi-circle welcoming group members as they arrived shortly before 7pm and there I noticed the transformation beginning to shine its light through their being. They stood taller, shoulders were back, heads up facing the world, and an effortless smile filled their face. That’s when I knew they were beginning to find it: what they were looking for.

I always say that this three-dimensional world is wired up in a way that conditions us to ask: “What can I get?” Followed by the false expectation that when we get what we desire, be it a new car, phone, house, promotion, wrinkle free face or soul mate, then I’ll be happy.

The truth is, you can borrow for the car or house. Stumble across a diet or exercise plan that cause your complexion to radiate. You might even fall into the depths of love with a partner and wonder how in the name of God did you ever live without this person, and after a while still feel a sense of lack. The material things lose their novelty. The house still needs maintenance and the relationship is a constant journey that requires commitment, openness and communication.

The point is, we are constantly seeking something out-side ourselves to find fulfilment. Only to be left with novelties fading and disillusioned expectations.

Almost two decades of client work has shown me how the state of “When I get this, I will be happy” can chip away at enthusiasm and lust for life.

I’ve noticed how it kills the innocence that causes us to get up each day and hope, dream, wish and make the plans necessary to experience the life we came here to live.

After many years of one let down after another the beautiful child within falls deep into the corners of our psyche and we no longer hear her gleeful voice. You know, the one that channels our excitement for life, for who we are, who we can become and what we can experience.

Life becomes dull. We let go of aspiration and hold on to the regret of another unmet expectation.

The biggest secret held in this three-dimensional society called ‘normal life’ is:


Remember this, the ‘What I can I get?” perspective will fuel expectancy. When things don’t work out we think we have failed. Not true. In fact, it’s a complete misconception.

I have noticed many people hop on and off the Spiritual way of life. Yet, the ones that stay are the ones who ‘get it’. Like the beautiful souls in my meditation groups, who came in on that first night seeking something only to re-connect with the experience of themselves, who they really are, a Divine Infinite Being who is pure Love.

They felt it.

They experienced it and it reminded them of why they are here.

I mentioned earlier that it was not the meditation alone that caused the transformation. That was where it began, but it didn’t end there.

The practice itself is tremendous for release of anxieties and life’s pressures, bringing depths of clarity. Having said that, it is not enough to sit in stillness for so many minutes or hours a day alone.

What happened with my group was, they reconnected with their essence, their soul. They practiced centring in that magnificent awareness and shared their essence out into their daily lives.

The eye opener was, they realised that they had it all along. What they were seeking was always within. Their perspective shifted, and the seemingly important things didn’t matter anymore. Such as being right, rich, successful, popular or beautiful.

Instead they realised that they mattered.

They found self-love and self-acceptance followed.

They changed.

From there, tolerance levels for what was not important dropped and they raised the standards for what they accepted into their lives.

Their vibration rose to one that is aligned with peace, strength and clarity and cause took effect.

What they were doing was beginning to understand the Law of Attraction and the Law of Cause and Effect. Two of the eleven Divine Laws created at the dawn of time.

When you think of the Law of Cause and Effect as follows:

Thoughts = Cause

Reality = Effect

You will understand that if we change your mind your reality will change. My meditation group understood this.

The Awakening and Commitment

What they experienced is called An Awakening.

Once we awaken, continuing to live from a “What can I get” perspective takes commitment. It’s a commitment to believing that you are below par when it comes to being enough. When your experience through meditation (or another modality) has reminded you otherwise, this commitment becomes a choice.

In much the same way, to live in the awareness that you are a Spirit Being having the human experience is also a commitment that requires discipline.

You are here to live, be, explore, wonder. It’s really is that simple.

Align with the love of self each day, make truly loving you a practice. Commit to doing so, deliberately, each moment and it will become a habit and after a while, a way of being.

You are here on this journey called life to experience Who You Are. To share Who You Are. Just Be-Cause!

One sure thing about this world is that it goes on. People will come, and people will go, so will things. Everything changes. And all we really have are the memories we created along the way, that soon becomes our life.

Just for today say to yourself:

“Today I am going to be present. I’m going to feel the feelings, observe the thoughts and be in the moment”. Let go of expectancy and just be.

To help you stay aligned with who you truly are, listen to music, spend time with good friends, turn off social media and be good to you. If it works (and it will work) do the same again tomorrow and the next day and keep on going.

There is magic in that and the outcome is your innocence naturally returns to claim its power. And you begin to hope again, you dare to dream again, and you experience life again, which is exactly what you came here to do, one moment at a time.

with love,

Hilary x

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